Archives

What Would You Do If?

Nov10

whatif

the ultimate question!

I’d like to believe that I’ve always been willing to go for it. Running towards the possibilities and not letting fear of the unknown be part of my thought process. My mom always instilled in me that I could do anything so being a student at the University of Michigan was another step forward and a fantastic opportunity for me to express myself. I took my dream of being a writer and turned it into a reality, majoring in Radio, TV, and Film and subsequently landing an incredible job as Creative Director for a local Rock/Country radio station. 

                Go Blue!

Getting married! Come on now, that’s a leap of faith. 😍

wedding

Deciding to have a child and owning the birthing experience on my terms. Not in a hospital (too sterile and rigid for me) but, not at home with a midwife. I believed there was another option so started researching for something I didn’t even know existed. A “Birthing Center”, one of the first in the state of Michigan in the late 1970’s.

having-a-baby

Starting an acting career at 40 yrs of age and performing in one of my favorite stage productions, West Side Story!

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I sang, danced, was a Jet girlfriend and executed (for the first time ever) the most amazing gymnastic flips off my partner’s arm, his back and had the time of my life! Of course, my daughter had to bring my 40th birthday cake to the theater complete with 40 flaming candles. Loved it!  

birthdaycake

Happy Birthday To Me!

 

Today, fighting and surviving 2 cancers at once, it’s more important than ever to live up to a credo of living fearlessly! I do believe that attitude dictates the quality of your life and tomorrow is not promised so what the heck – trust yourself and go for it!

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Note to self – never stop asking this ultimate and most important question:

 

What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?

 

Why I Write

Nov8

I am often drawn to quotes from other writers, philosophers and notables. They can be impactful and a window inside the souls of “truth seekers.” Some quotes make me go “um” and others just jump out and make me shout, YES! This is what’s in my heart; this observation expresses a feeling in a way I hadn’t thought about.

John Cheever’s quote sums up why I write and aptly expresses me:

whyiwrite

Writing about my cancer journey is my way of making sense of the chaos of Cancer. It’s also a cathartic exercise and way to connect and possibly express what others are thinking but don’t know exactly how to explain.

Joyful Thanks!

Nov6

“It’s a Beautiful Day!”

From the first time I heard this song and still now, I feel joyful and appreciative for the blessing of waking up to a beautiful day! And my intention reminds me – make the most of it!

Since I’m a word girl and lyrics get butchered all the time,😄 I picked this video which showcases the impactful words of “Beautiful Day.” 

 

 

It sounds like such a simple thing to do but so easy to forget. Each day, each moment is a gift. I know for me, next time I question what’s up with time, I’ll have to reflect on my own sense of appreciation.

 

 

What’s Up With Time?

Nov4

What is it about getting older and the concept of time? When we’re young, time seems to drag on. (last day of school anticipation before summer vacation.) Now, I don’t understand the rapidity of my life and life events.

But, maybe I’m looking at time from the wrong perspective.

timeDont-be-so-busy-watching-out-for-whats-just-ahead-of-you-that-you-dont-take-time-to-enjoy-where-you-are.

Thinking it through and talking to my sister has brought me to the conclusion that maybe the reason that time seems to be rushing by is that I’m no longer experiencing time and viewing life like a kid, rivaling in special events and moment markers like summer vacation, Christmas, or even losing a baby tooth. Maybe the fact of the matter is that as I’m getting older I’m not making each day an event or recognizing a special moment.

Miracle

As we’re approaching the end of the year, I’m looking back, and frankly there are few moments that stand out or I actually remember. January through April, forget about it, What did I do, accomplish, celebrate? Okay, in May I turned the big 60! That birthday was really surreal because I might be 60 chronologically, but internally, I still feel 23. That’s been my go-to number for years, (although the year my son turned 23 he told me it might be a little weird with us being the same age, so I agreed to bump it up to 25:)

ageaintnothin

My 60th birthday has come to mark the start of my 2015 timeline. I celebrated my bday at Universal Studios (one of my favorite destinations) and partied with the Minions, which was AWESOME!!!

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But, the events that really stand out as my actual “birthday” are my diagnosis of colon cancer and then less than a month later breast cancer. Those diagnoses were truly a Godsend and a blessing – they were the catalyst for my awakening to living a mindful and purposeful life.

I thank God every day for his love, grace and the blessing of a second chance at life.

 

 

 

 

 

The Power of Positive Thought 🌸

Oct30

My mom was the most positive person I’ve ever known. She epitomized the saying: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

She passed from colon cancer over 20 years ago. She never complained and was always a beacon of light. I was blessed to be her daughter. She is loved and missed every day. 

 

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Thanks mom for instilling in me the power and energy of positive thinking.

 

Karma

 

 

 

I Am A Determined Woman!

Oct28

Chumbawamba – “Tubthumping”

I loved this song when it first came out and I love it even more today! The lyrics still inspire and the rhythm excites and pumps me up. “I get knocked down, but I get up again” are definitely great words to live by and it’s a perfect rallying cry for a fierce, kick butt attitude! The song so inspired me that I put together this little slideshow. Hope you enjoy.

Director: A Determined Woman!

Music: Chumbawamba – “Tubthumping” (1997)

 

 

 

 

 

The Funny Side of Tired :)

Oct26

How could we live without humor? Humor for humor’s sake. Humor as a means of communication. Humor for times of stress and heartache. Humor in times of joy and glee.

lifehappy

One of the side effects of chemotherapy is fatigue, which I’ve starting experiencing. When my husband asked this morning how I’m feeling, my mouth spoke tired and my brain thought, I’m feeling a little “Lili Von Shtupp” – “I’m so Tired” – the brilliant musical number from the Mel Brooks comedy, “Blazing Saddles.” (I’m a movie geek so that’s how my brain works) This number is my kind of funny. Hilarious! Totally took my mind off of actually being tired and brought a big ole grin to my face.

Madeline Kahn (Lili) is celebrated as an incredible actress, singer and comedienne, (even though she didn’t see herself as naturally funny so had to really work at it). She developed ovarian cancer in 1998 and we lost her genius in 1999. She was 57 years old.

Her take on humor: “Laughter is a strange response. I mean, what is it? It’s a spasm of some kind! Is that always joy? It’s very often discomfort. It’s some sort of explosive reaction. It’s very complex.”

For me, humor’s always been a coping mechanism and saving grace. And, I have to agree with Madeline, it’s complicated.

Tired

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What a Feeling!

Oct23

sing

 

“First when there’s nothing, but a slow glowing dream, that your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind..”

“What a Feeling” – from the film “FlashDance.”

 

Since the first time I heard this inspiring Irene Cara hit, it’s become a personal mantra and life philosophy.

“Take your passion and make it happen..” 

This song excited and motivated me to pursue my dream of becoming an actress and performing in community theater.

“Believe in yourself and what you can accomplish.”

Today that determination and confidence strengthens my will and shows me that I can accomplish whatever I want. So, cancer, you don’t stand a chance!

What a Feeling!

 

New Attitude

Oct21

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy, shaping our lives and image of ourselves based on outside input and descriptions others have deemed to be true. From birth, we take on the totality of remarks and declarations outright or subtly put in our heads. Whether it’s from parents uttering – “oh, you’re so pretty” maybe trying to build up our self-esteem or to teachers concluding “you don’t really have a head for numbers” in an effort to shield us from what they perceive as a possible failure.

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These early definitions paint a picture we add to as we approach life and try to sort out how we fit in and what we’re capable of accomplishing. We are socialized by our peers, teachers, and loves. What we hear we sometimes assimilate to and believe.

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I used to call myself a late bloomer, but a therapist corrected me saying “No, you come into things in your own time.” That perspective totally changed the way I thought of myself and opened my eyes to the fact that I was basing my definition of self on what others deemed as “appropriate” timing or behavior. I had been primarily judging myself by letting society dictate, on some level, my worthiness.

Maybe, if we stop letting others define who we are, we might just find the person we were meant to be.

 

 

 

Thank You!

Oct19

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I’d like to thank everyone for their words of encouragement and appreciation of my previous post, “It’s a Beautiful Day!” I start chemotherapy for my Colon Cancer tomorrow and it feels great going into it with positive thoughts and energy.

I claim there will be no side-effects from the treatment. I know some might think that’s being a little optimistic but how many people do you know with two unrelated cancers at the same time? Huh? I’m that special. Not at all typical and neither will be my experience. 😊

Erase all Doubt!